Everyone Needs a Philosophy

I have been dabbling, as it were, in stoicism the past few months. The four pillars of stoicism are courage, wisdom, justice, and moderation. I am already solid on the courage and moderation part. I have taken a lot of risks professionally, and I am not afraid to do the right thing even if there are negative personal consequences. I am moderate in my political views and I try to moderate my personal activities, although I understand the concept of not stopping to eat when full, but stopping when one begins to hate oneself.

I may not be wise, but I do learn by my mistakes. I try to make sure that I check my confirmation bias, and I am always open to facts that could change one of my beliefs. Humans are irrational, and a wise person needs to understand that. Justice, to the extent I understand it, means being fair. I think I am fair, although I believe that the concept of fairness changes from circumstance to circumstance. I am fine with the concept that life frequently is unfair.

Another aspect of stoicism is to accept one's fate, at the same time making the best of it. Stoics endorse the serenity prayer, but also believe that you can change the world by changing yourself. In fact, stoicism says that gratitude should be extended to everything that happens to you, good and bad. With respect to the bad things, they are opportunities to reflect on the good things in your life, the people you have loved, and that wisdom you need to have. In the end, you can at least be grateful that you are still alive.

When I look back on the nearly 69 years I have been alive, I am every bit as much the product of the bad as the good. In fact, the bad may have had a greater positive effect on me than the good. My father worked too much, my mother was a piece of work, the high school I went to was one of the worst in New Jersey, I did not get into Princeton (Johns Hopkins instead), and I almost got fired in 1982 because I would not cover up unethical conduct by a partner of the law firm where I was an employee. On the positive side, I married a woman I loved and still love her almost 50 years later, I think my two children (age 41 and 40) are pretty impressive adults, and my law firm is doing well. Yin and yang.

Today is Thanksgiving. I will be surrounded by a wife, two adult children and their spouses (I approve), and five grandchildren. I am certainly grateful for that.